In the past year and a half of my life, there have been more changes than any other time I can remember, and almost all of those changes have been positive.  I left an abusive relationship in May 2006, and at the same time I also went into a detox for alcohol and drug addiction.  The abuse had fueled the drinking, and probably vice versa as well.  I am happy to say that I have been drug-free since May 17, 2006 and that my life has become one that I can be proud of.  I have been living at a halfway house for women for over a year now, and this house has helped me to stay sober and also to find myself as a strong and capable woman.  I am surrounded by women who want me to succeed, and this gives me so much strength.  However, a few months into my recovery, I began to feel like maybe, as good as my life was, that something was still missing.

This something turned out to be a plan for my future.  I had lived so many years just thinking in the immediate present and 'surviving' that my dreams had sort of disappeared.  In the past 9 months or so, I began to really be able to imagine my future again.  I am lucky enough to have a Bachelor's in Psychology, which I completed in my early 20s, but I decided that I want to go on to get a certificate in substance abuse counseling.  This would have been absolutely impossible without the help of Web of Benefit.  Financially, there was no way I could have managed this.  However, my mother told me about Web of Benefit and urged me to apply for the grant.  I was so surprised and happy to get this grant.  I was able to enroll in a program at Middlesex College, and it is exactly the program that I need right now.  Because of the help from Web of Benefit, I have been able to have much of my school paid for, and this allowed me to save a little bit of money for the first time in years. 

With this little bit of money, I am now looking to move into my own apartment in Tewksbury, MA, which is where the halfway house is located.  I am doing this in order to stay connected to the house, but also live independently, which is what I feel I need in order to have confidence in myself that I really can do this 'on my own'.  Without the Web of Benefit grant, either school or housing would have had to wait, and my life would not be what it is today.  With my education, I am going to help other women who have survived abuse and alcoholism/drug dependence.  I am so happy for this chance to give back, and to use my own experiences to help others.  I have also passed on information about Web of Benefit to other women in my house, and I have been very vocal about how very much you have helped me to pursue my own long-forgotten dreams. 

I have a dream that someday all women will be free from the slavery that still oppresses so many women all over the world. Women are slaves in the home, in the church and in society. I will tell you many examples of this slavery. But my dream keeps me going. Women are strong and we will keep using our voices and our minds and our spirits to make change happen. Someday we will be free from this slavery and our little girls will not have to go through what so many of us have gone through in our lives. My dream will come true.

At Home
At home, women are still terribly oppressed as mothers and homemakers. In some countries, even if both the husband and wife work outside of the home, when they get home at the end of the day, only the woman has domestic obligations. While the man sits down and relaxes, the woman must start her "second" work day. She must cook for the family. She must clean. She must do laundry. She must care for the children. All the while, the man is grumbling, "Where is my dinner?!"

As terrible as this story above sounds, for many women this situation is normal and at least it is somewhat safe. Sometimes when the woman doesn't do what she is told to do, the man beats her. Domestic violence is everywhere. Many women live every day in fear. This is slavery.

Fortunately, in this country, this situation is slowly changing. The expected roles of women and men are changing. The new generation of women is getting to use their minds to help society and men are using their hearts to support family life. This is one of the reasons that I love America and this is part of my dream, that women will eventually be free from slavery.

In Religion
In many religions, women also face oppression. Many men base their ideas and laws of today on the Bible, Torah, and the Koran etc, not realizing that at the time when these books were written, women were really slaves. These old laws do not make sense in our society today. For example, in almost every religion, only men have the right to minister. Old laws said that women could not speak in public. This is no the law of God. It is the law of men.

Religion also oppresses women by controlling what they wear and how they look. Some religions still even today require that women only wear dresses. Some religions require that a woman's body be completely covered except for her eyes. Is this fair? Is this equal? Is this freedom? I have a dream that women will be free from this kind of slavery.

In Society
Women are also oppressed out in society. There are many examples of how our societies treat girls and women like slaves. It is so bad that I call it torture. I will give you a few examples.

There are countries where it is a common practice to cut off the clitoris of girls because they believe that women have no right to have pleasure. Isn't it crazy? Some people want to make it sound like it is not so bad, as if it like when a boy is circumcised. But really it is mutilation. It is torture.

In some societies, when a man dies, they bury his wife with him-alive! Another culture has a law that says if the husband dies, the woman can never marry again. Is this fair? When the woman dies, the man can re-marry!

In many places in the world, girls are still sold into forced marriages. Sometimes these girls are only 9 or 10 years old and they must have sex with grown men. Is this marriage or is this slavery?

There is still so much ignorance about the status of women today. I hope that one day women will be free from the slavery that we still suffer in many parts of the world. When these terrible stories are no longer true, my dream will have come true. It is possible. Women are strong. Women are smart. When we all work together and are united, we can accomplish so much. Women, united together, can make the greatest changes in the world.





Biography of Elizabeth P.
Elizabeth DeBeradinis was referred to Web of Benefit by a Transitional Living Program in Newton, Massachusetts in September 2005. She had fled an abusive husband and was in poor health, needing financial aid to help pay for multiple doctor visits and necessary medications which she could not afford. Her life was in jeopardy at this time. Web of Benefit realized that, before she could think of defining and pursuing her dream, she needed very specialized medical help. After six months, with her health greatly improved, she began working toward her dream of becoming a Medical Translator for Brazilian women who could not advocate for themselves due to the language barrier they faced. In the past 12 months, Elizabeth has taken multiple English classes, graduated from the Women to Women Program, and has become an American Citizen. She is well on her way to realizing her dream and plans to make her life's work helping other women in need. Web of Benefit is honored to have been able to assist this extraordinary woman in defining and accomplishing her dream.

Mary's Story

September 2006

When my ex-husband realized that I was a person of opposite intelligence and style than he expected, he started to abuse me.  The abuse lasted over ten years.  By the time I left him, the only goal I had was to get m y son away from him because I didn’t want my son to become like him.

After I left him, my physical abuse stopped, but my heart was the crushed by what he had done in the past and some people accusing me in the present.  With weeping and bible reading, I fought for survival.  Along with difficulty breathing and memory loss, I had to go to ESL class and deal with financial difficulties daily.

Because my teenage son had multiple threats and physical attacks on the school bus and in our neighborhood, it pushed my heart to a limit that I couldn’t bear.  With broken heart, weary body, lack of financial support, anxiety over my son’s safety and his distress, the realty was that I was dying.  I knew my need for help was critical.

I called Johanna Crawford after I saw her on TV.  We met and made a plan.  My urgent request was her help to move out of a dangerous area ASAP.  We learned that I had to make income to make moving possible.  I went to a job training program instead of completing my educational dream.

Jo assisted me with combo T passes every month from the time we first met.  This released me from a heavy financial burden.  She fought for me to get my money back from BHA.  I also knew that this included my rights and my confidence too.

The most comfort to my heart was that someone knew I needed help and did her best to help me during the time my body clung to the ground.  God says:  “For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.”

My son has new respect for me through the things I have accomplished and the confidence that I regained.

From dying to hope to get a job, my life turned a new leaf within a year of help from Johanna Crawford.  I still need patience to find a job.  I still need strength to help my son with his difficulties and academic achievements.  We are still seeking a safe living area, but I believe the darkness is passing, and the true light is already shining.

I am here to hope that more supporters sow their passions helping Web of Benefit to grow.  I also hope that more survivors of domestic violence heal their broken hearts and harvest their dreams with the help of Web of Benefit.

September 2007

Since I wrote my story in 2006, I have gotten a job that I love.  This job has also helped me to heal.  Before I was working, I felt that I was weak, now I feel strong and successful.  I got my confidence back!

My son has changed a lot in a year.  He now does chores in the house to help me.  We talk more and even cook together.  He is going to a new school and says he is going to work hard.  He now listens to me much more.  Our relationship is more normal now, without fighting.  He has even started to be concerned about his future.  He is hopeful about taking action in his life.

We now live in an area that is safe; no longer a housing project, but a real apartment of our own.  It is small, but it is clean.  It is enough for us.

A year ago, my dream was just to get out of a dangerous area.  With the help and support of Web of Benefit, my dream now is to be certified in my job and advance in my profession.  I also dream that my son will be more stable in school and that he will do well.  I am now an example for him.  He is the result of my dreams.

I still dream about going back to school.  My dream never dies.  In the future, I want to write and teach.  My health is better without medication.  My memory is coming back.  My past was very difficult, but I can handle anything now.  

Web of Benefit was a bridge to bring me out of darkness to see the light. What I know now is that Web of Benefit gave me a belief in myself and helped me to find myself. I do not have much fear any more. I am positive and dream of a bright future for my son.