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“You helped me open my mind and explore my dreams in more depth and gave me the extra push that I needed. You will always be in my thoughts every time I take a picture. I will never forget your kindness.”- Vera
“Thank you for helping me make one of the biggest steps in my life. With your help I have started school this semester, my first class felt great. I can’t thank you enough for your help not only emotionally but also for my deposit for school and the laptop.”- Juliana
“You have no idea how happy and emotional I am feeling right now. My computer represents a lot for me. When I opened it yesterday, the first thing I noticed was the name “Inspiron” and I thought: this is really going to inspire me for the rest of my life. For instance, I’m working right now on the draft of my story that I would like to publish in your blog. With this computer, I am going to step forward to a new life full of dreams that I want to accomplish. If I manage to publish my book, you will for sure be mentioned in it!”- Ilhame
"Web of Benefit has truly been a blessing to me. It helped me through my divorce process, which was out of state and a very difficult process. I am very blessed to have had the help that I received." - Luisa M.
"I can't thank you enough for your help. I couldn't have made it emotionally or mentally without your help." -Jean P.
"Are you closer to realizing your dream? YES!!! I am now a U.S. Citizen. I am also waiting for my divorce from my abuser. I also have addressed many health problems. I am also taking English classes (which I love!). I am starting computer training in a few weeks." -Yin M.
"Web of Benefit is an angel for people surviving physical and mental abuse. They are strength, emotionally and monetarily, at the most important time; the time of healing."- Patty D.
"I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. There really aren't any words to express the gratitude that I have. Being able to go to school is a gift. Having someone give you the money to go is another. The biggest part of it is having someone like you to believe in them. Thank you so much because that made me wants to do my best. Because of you I have been able to face a big challenge. Thanks so much for believing in me. That is truly a gift from God. May He richly bless you as you bless others." -Joan P.
"A personal thanks for your words of inspiration and support. You truly planted the seed for my dreams to become a reality" -Shawnda G.
"I have never experienced such generosity from a woman and that too was an extraordinary gift."-Rosa A.
"You helped us at a time that we were in much need of help and we didn't know where to turn. It was very helpful not only financially, but spiritually. It is amazing that an organization like yours exists because we were starting to lose faith that we would be able to receive help at all. There aren't enough words to describe how great full we are to you" written by the daughter of a recipient."-Alisha P.
"Thank you again for your generosity, wisdom and support, and prompt (amazingly so) response to my need for interview clothes. I love them!" -Veronica T.
"I believe that confidence and dignity come from within us it is difficult to act with confidence when one looks so bedraggled. I especially appreciated you wise insights about 'remembering'-that so accurately described what has been happening to me these last two weeks...Yet now it is as if the 'fog' has lifted and I see all of it-the physical, sexual, mental and emotional cruelty-so clearly."- Allie N.
"Again, thank you so very much. Your kindness and generosity have healed my body and soul." -Jen S.
"The new clothes have been such a help-I went to two career/networking events yesterday, and I was able to focus on the meetings and feel great." -Laura J.
"When the time I was in difficulty, your "little help" helped me find who I was. Right now I am on the way to look for my future. I remember you helped me. You helped me with money, encouragement and your expectation too. Whenever a little progress comes, I always remember you made a difference in my life. I hope you will remember this too."- Angelique S.
"I don't think you understand quite what you did for me. I had emailed or called every resource I could find from the Federal level down. Your organization is the single source that actually helped me in a tangible way when I was desperate and would not have had any funds to pay my mortgage or keep my slim grip on sanity. Blessings to you." -Lin L.
"I have a dream that someday all women will be free from the slavery that still oppresses so many women all over the world. Women are slaves in the home, in the church and in society. .My dream keeps me going. Women are strong, and we will keep using our voices and our minds and our spirits to make change happen. Someday we will be free from slavery, and our little girls will not have to go through what so many of us have gone through in our lives. My dream will come true." - Elizabeth D.
"It is like, in my room, around the printer is brightened up, and an angel just sits here. And it makes me realize that this is all not a dream, and you (Web of Benefit) are real , and it's all true, that I can go to Harvard Extension School in September, and that my application to Cambridge College, where I took courses is going to be completed by evaluation of my Japanese transcript. I cannot thank you enough and swear to myself that I have to work on what I should do, still more and more."-Pila L. Cambridge, MA
"You have given me a number of reasons to feel good starting with my sneakers I wear to the gym, and the pillows I cry into. Overall, I can say that the good you have done outweighs the sadness that comes and goes."- Yvette H.
"Each Independence Celebration period calls to my mind how Web of Benefit liberated me. I celebrate it with my entire mind and like to get in touch with you. I have moved from ...... and now live in.....You will accept that is not just by chance that I live at Liberty Street. It is in pursuit of my DREAM. Once again thank you very much for making it possible for me to not only dream but to chase my dreams. Happy Independence Day! Long live America! Peace be to Americans!" -Julia, a new American Citizen
(617)-285-1900 P.O. Box 81925 Wellesley, MA 02481
Mary's Story
September 2006
When my ex-husband realized that I was a person of opposite intelligence and style than he expected, he started to abuse me. The abuse lasted over ten years. By the time I left him, the only goal I had was to get m y son away from him because I didnt want my son to become like him.
After I left him, my physical abuse stopped, but my heart was the crushed by what he had done in the past and some people accusing me in the present. With weeping and bible reading, I fought for survival. Along with difficulty breathing and memory loss, I had to go to ESL class and deal with financial difficulties daily.
Because my teenage son had multiple threats and physical attacks on the school bus and in our neighborhood, it pushed my heart to a limit that I couldnt bear. With broken heart, weary body, lack of financial support, anxiety over my sons safety and his distress, the realty was that I was dying. I knew my need for help was critical.
I called Johanna Crawford after I saw her on TV. We met and made a plan. My urgent request was her help to move out of a dangerous area ASAP. We learned that I had to make income to make moving possible. I went to a job training program instead of completing my educational dream.
Jo assisted me with combo T passes every month from the time we first met. This released me from a heavy financial burden. She fought for me to get my money back from BHA. I also knew that this included my rights and my confidence too.
The most comfort to my heart was that someone knew I needed help and did her best to help me during the time my body clung to the ground. God says: For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
My son has new respect for me through the things I have accomplished and the confidence that I regained.
From dying to hope to get a job, my life turned a new leaf within a year of help from Johanna Crawford. I still need patience to find a job. I still need strength to help my son with his difficulties and academic achievements. We are still seeking a safe living area, but I believe the darkness is passing, and the true light is already shining.
I am here to hope that more supporters sow their passions helping Web of Benefit to grow. I also hope that more survivors of domestic violence heal their broken hearts and harvest their dreams with the help of Web of Benefit.
September 2007
Since I wrote my story in 2006, I have gotten a job that I love. This job has also helped me to heal. Before I was working, I felt that I was weak, now I feel strong and successful. I got my confidence back!
My son has changed a lot in a year. He now does chores in the house to help me. We talk more and even cook together. He is going to a new school and says he is going to work hard. He now listens to me much more. Our relationship is more normal now, without fighting. He has even started to be concerned about his future. He is hopeful about taking action in his life.
We now live in an area that is safe; no longer a housing project, but a real apartment of our own. It is small, but it is clean. It is enough for us.
A year ago, my dream was just to get out of a dangerous area. With the help and support of Web of Benefit, my dream now is to be certified in my job and advance in my profession. I also dream that my son will be more stable in school and that he will do well. I am now an example for him. He is the result of my dreams.
I still dream about going back to school. My dream never dies. In the future, I want to write and teach. My health is better without medication. My memory is coming back. My past was very difficult, but I can handle anything now.
Web of Benefit was a bridge to bring me out of darkness to see the light. What I know now is that Web of Benefit gave me a belief in myself and helped me to find myself. I do not have much fear any more. I am positive and dream of a bright future for my son.
Marie's Story
In the past year and a half of my life, there have been more changes than any other time I can remember, and almost all of those changes have been positive. I left an abusive relationship in May 2006, and at the same time I also went into a detox for alcohol and drug addiction. The abuse had fueled the drinking, and probably vice versa as well. I am happy to say that I have been drug-free since May 17, 2006 and that my life has become one that I can be proud of. I have been living at a halfway house for women for over a year now, and this house has helped me to stay sober and also to find myself as a strong and capable woman. I am surrounded by women who want me to succeed, and this gives me so much strength. However, a few months into my recovery, I began to feel like maybe, as good as my life was, that something was still missing.
This something turned out to be a plan for my future. I had lived so many years just thinking in the immediate present and 'surviving' that my dreams had sort of disappeared. In the past 9 months or so, I began to really be able to imagine my future again. I am lucky enough to have a Bachelor's in Psychology, which I completed in my early 20s, but I decided that I want to go on to get a certificate in substance abuse counseling. This would have been absolutely impossible without the help of Web of Benefit. Financially, there was no way I could have managed this. However, my mother told me about Web of Benefit and urged me to apply for the grant. I was so surprised and happy to get this grant. I was able to enroll in a program at Middlesex College, and it is exactly the program that I need right now. Because of the help from Web of Benefit, I have been able to have much of my school paid for, and this allowed me to save a little bit of money for the first time in years.
With this little bit of money, I am now looking to move into my own apartment in Tewksbury, MA, which is where the halfway house is located. I am doing this in order to stay connected to the house, but also live independently, which is what I feel I need in order to have confidence in myself that I really can do this 'on my own'. Without the Web of Benefit grant, either school or housing would have had to wait, and my life would not be what it is today. With my education, I am going to help other women who have survived abuse and alcoholism/drug dependence. I am so happy for this chance to give back, and to use my own experiences to help others. I have also passed on information about Web of Benefit to other women in my house, and I have been very vocal about how very much you have helped me to pursue my own long-forgotten dreams.
Thank you with all my heart.
Tori's Story
"I am a 34 year old mother, full-time analyst, and full time student, among many other things. I am also a domestic violence victim advocate and seek out opportunities to raise awareness of the strength and power of women, and the many great things that can be achieved when the cycle of abuse is broken. The story you are about to read is the story of a woman who found that the strength she gained through adversity gave her more strength, drive and passion to succeed than many other women around her. She was always told to think outside the box, and went a step further and burned the box altogether. The following story is my story, and I hope it will inspire you to burn the box you are told to think outside of, light your flame of passion for who you are, and who you dream to be, and keep feeding yourself the oxygen you need to be great!
By way of background, no one in my family went to college and therefore no one in my family encouraged or even mentioned college as a future goal or path to personal fulfillment and service when I was growing up. Upon entering adulthood, I unwittingly managed to follow in my parents footsteps; having low expectations, I was very good at setting artificially low goals. I heard such artificially low goals often called being realistic. I had my first child at a young age (22), held a steady job but a nagging emptiness inside me wondered if life might hold rewards of the unrealistic kind for which I could try to shoot.
I was barely 30 years old and spent the majority of my days locked in a negatively charged environment, inside a mens medium/maximum security prison, maintaining safety and security as a Correctional Officer. One day, I looked in the mirror and saw an older than her age, genuinely unhappy, frustrated woman and victim. I was classified by the sheriff departments special task force as 1 of 100 of the worst cases for the year in a county with a population of 660,486. Beginning the process of breaking the deadly cycle resulted in an emotional and legal battle beyond the scope of my experience. I had gained ten years in my face and a hollow emptiness behind my eyes. With a years worth of leftover grocery money saved up, I was ready and determined to start over. Every woman has that final moment where she has gone as far as she can go; that was mine.
I heard a saying once that I never forgot; it went something like, A successful life is the best revenge. If success was the best revenge, then I wanted all the success I could possibly get my hands on! I was determined to place myself in a position to succeed and channeled all of my energy in that direction. I moved 3,000 miles away from everything I knew to start over with my children. I chose Boston because of its educational reputation. I signed on with an agency for temporary employment, had no degree to back me up, but I quickly gained a temporary position with a prominent financial institution in the heart of the financial district. I made it my mission to become a part of their family and unbeknownst to them, they were already a part of mine. After two months I was a permanent employee and had earned a position as the Executive Assistant to the Chief Financial Officer (CFO). I saw nothing but successful people all around me who consistently encouraged me to get my education. They were all kind, ethical, quietly driven individuals and I looked up to each of them, still do. I enrolled full-time with a well known university, and with the assistance of a life coach, began learning about goals and understanding how I learn best.
I quickly learned that I enjoyed internal controls and compliance and that my way of thinking was perfectly suited for such work. I began to study for the Certified Sarbanes-Oxley Exam, which I later passed. I was quickly given the opportunity to work with Sarbanes-Oxley (SOX) on a daily basis and learned over a short period of time that SOX just might be my professional future. At 34 years old, Ive learned that education opens doors and prepares me for any next step I choose to pursue. Education is a strong interest of mine that I hope to pass on to my children; leading by example.
One thing I learned throughout my journey is that you need to take a moment here and there to reflect upon your achievements. Writing down your achievements is not easy, but reading them is quite fulfilling. In 2009, I achieved TrueLifeInc. MVP Award for Successful People Living with Intention. The MVP Award is given to their most inspiring turnaround stories throughout the year, published online and sent to the many corporations with whom they partner. While working toward my Associates Degree I enrolled at Northeastern University and obtained my Paralegal Professional Certification. In June of 2010, I obtained my Associates Degree and soon received a promotion from Executive Assistant/Sarbanes-Oxley Associate to Sarbanes-Oxley Analyst. I currently assist in the management of the internal control environment for a financial holding company which owns four private banks and five wealth and investment management firms.
Some of the goals I have yet to achieve are in my near future and I have taken every step to ensure that I accomplish those goals when the time is right. This year I will purchase a multi-family home to allow me to complete the home improvement projects that I enjoy and will strive to be the best landlord I can be while earning some sweat equity. In 2012, I will complete my bachelors degree from Northeastern University, which will be one of my largest achievements, as its been the hardest and longest of goals to complete. Being a full-time college student, full-time employee, and full-time mother is not an easy task, by any standard, and there is no greater feeling of accomplishment than I experience with each small step achieved. Interestingly enough, I feel as though its still just the beginning.
So much can be gained by supporting the strength and determination that you have gathered within yourself. Its strength beyond measure, and when channeled correctly, you can achieve every fairy tale you ever imagined!"
Belinda's Story
"I was born in ( ) in a polygamous family of twenty children, in Nigeria. Of the twenty children, I am the second to last. And on my mother's side, it is just my sister and I. Ours was a very big compound. Other than my father's wives and children, we had many cousins living with us. I had a very loving and caring childhood. Under my father's protective eye, we all loved one another not knowing who our own mother was.
My father valued education, and always emphasized on it, but only to his male children. My father was one of those African men, who believe that a woman's place is in her husbands house. He also believed that if a woman went beyond elementary school, she will find it difficult to get married. But, as a child, "education" became a key word in my life, and I was determined to go to school, thus I became my father's first female child to go beyond elementary school. However, in my third year in secondary school, suitors started asking my hand in marriage and were ready to wait until after my secondary education. When my father realized that his belief and idea about educated women were wrong, he then allowed my youngest sister to continue after elementary school.
Leaving my country, at a very tender age, was a turning point in my life. I was betrothed to a man (family arrangement), who was then living in Germany. I had my elementary and secondary education in Nigeria, and soon after I left for Western Germany, where I lived for only six months. Things did not go very well while I was in Germany. I soon discovered that my husband to be was a monster. I went through untold emotional and physical abuse, which I would not want to remember. However, things did not work out, and in October of 1975, I moved to England, and there I went to college to study secretarial studies, in Pitman's Central College, London. In 1980, I went back to my country. The trauma I had in Germany made it very difficult for me to enter into any serious relationship.
In 1986, I met yet another man and we started a relationship, which resulted in the birth of my only child, who I named "ANWULI", which means JOY. He was no better than the first man. And I have had to bring my daughter up by myself.
In 1999, my daughter and I moved to the United States of America and shortly after I met and married, yet another man from my home town, but this turned out to be the biggest and worst mistake of my life.
With my past mistakes, I have learned to be strong and courageous no matter what. The Crittenton Women's Union, Woman-to-Woman program is hope for me and my daughter, who is really my joy. It has put me back on life's track. I have also come to realize that life is what you make of it. It does not matter where you are coming from, but where you are going. I have learned to be positive, to set my goals and to work hard to achieve them.
I intend to pursue a four-year degree program in Medical Information Management. First, I will get a part-time job and then start from Bunker Hill- do a two-year associate degree program and then transfer to a four year college to obtain my degree.
Five years from now, I hope to have obtained my degree in Medical Information Management, and hopefully, on a better job that will catapult to my next level. I see myself as flying like an eagle.
Regardless of what I have been through, the people I came in contact with will always remember and admire me for the following: she is a person of noble character, God-fearing individual, determined, hard-working, diligent and trustworthy. "
A Dream
By Elizabeth P.
I have a dream that someday all women will be free from the slavery that still oppresses so many women all over the world. Women are slaves in the home, in the church and in society. I will tell you many examples of this slavery. But my dream keeps me going. Women are strong and we will keep using our voices and our minds and our spirits to make change happen. Someday we will be free from this slavery and our little girls will not have to go through what so many of us have gone through in our lives. My dream will come true.
At Home
At home, women are still terribly oppressed as mothers and homemakers. In some countries, even if both the husband and wife work outside of the home, when they get home at the end of the day, only the woman has domestic obligations. While the man sits down and relaxes, the woman must start her "second" work day. She must cook for the family. She must clean. She must do laundry. She must care for the children. All the while, the man is grumbling, "Where is my dinner?!"
As terrible as this story above sounds, for many women this situation is normal and at least it is somewhat safe. Sometimes when the woman doesn't do what she is told to do, the man beats her. Domestic violence is everywhere. Many women live every day in fear. This is slavery.
Fortunately, in this country, this situation is slowly changing. The expected roles of women and men are changing. The new generation of women is getting to use their minds to help society and men are using their hearts to support family life. This is one of the reasons that I love America and this is part of my dream, that women will eventually be free from slavery.
In Religion
In many religions, women also face oppression. Many men base their ideas and laws of today on the Bible, Torah, and the Koran etc, not realizing that at the time when these books were written, women were really slaves. These old laws do not make sense in our society today. For example, in almost every religion, only men have the right to minister. Old laws said that women could not speak in public. This is no the law of God. It is the law of men.
Religion also oppresses women by controlling what they wear and how they look. Some religions still even today require that women only wear dresses. Some religions require that a woman's body be completely covered except for her eyes. Is this fair? Is this equal? Is this freedom? I have a dream that women will be free from this kind of slavery.
In Society
Women are also oppressed out in society. There are many examples of how our societies treat girls and women like slaves. It is so bad that I call it torture. I will give you a few examples.
There are countries where it is a common practice to cut off the clitoris of girls because they believe that women have no right to have pleasure. Isn't it crazy? Some people want to make it sound like it is not so bad, as if it like when a boy is circumcised. But really it is mutilation. It is torture.
In some societies, when a man dies, they bury his wife with him-alive! Another culture has a law that says if the husband dies, the woman can never marry again. Is this fair? When the woman dies, the man can re-marry!
In many places in the world, girls are still sold into forced marriages. Sometimes these girls are only 9 or 10 years old and they must have sex with grown men. Is this marriage or is this slavery?
There is still so much ignorance about the status of women today. I hope that one day women will be free from the slavery that we still suffer in many parts of the world. When these terrible stories are no longer true, my dream will have come true. It is possible. Women are strong. Women are smart. When we all work together and are united, we can accomplish so much. Women, united together, can make the greatest changes in the world.
Biography of Elizabeth P.
Elizabeth was referred to Web of Benefit by a Transitional Living Program in Newton, Massachusetts in September 2005. She had fled an abusive husband and was in poor health, needing financial aid to help pay for multiple doctor visits and necessary medications which she could not afford. Her life was in jeopardy at this time. Web of Benefit realized that, before she could think of defining and pursuing her dream, she needed very specialized medical help. After six months, with her health greatly improved, she began working toward her dream of becoming a Medical Translator for women who could not advocate for themselves due to the language barrier they faced. In the past 12 months, Elizabeth has taken multiple English classes, graduated from the Women to Women Program, and has become an American Citizen. She is well on her way to realizing her dream and plans to make her life's work helping other women in need. Web of Benefit is honored to have been able to assist this extraordinary woman in defining and accomplishing her dream.
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Empowering women to rebuild their dreams
Changing Lives, One Woman at a Time.
